Hello. My name is Melissa, and I am a former dieter. And I am about to get very personal with you. I spent 10 years of my life dieting, from the ages of fifteen to twenty-five. By now you must be thinking that I had some kind of weight problem, because who starts dieting at fifteen and then continues for another ten years? Therein lies the irony. I do not, nor have I ever, had a weight problem. I guess you could say that I was a statistic. The average American female begins dieting when she is only fourteen years old. It's really absurd if you think about it, because no girl at fourteen is even done developing. I wish that I had someone to slap me upside the head and tell me "NO!", so my goal is to be that voice of reason for you.
To lay it all out for you, I will try to recall every diet I have ever been on: Weight Watchers, South Beach Diet, low/no carbs and sugar, vegan, vegetarian, raw, the Blood Type Diet, and restricting calories. At my worst, I was only consuming a glass of vegetable juice for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and some cooked vegetables for dinner. Oh, and also working out, pushing my body to the max several days per week. I know literally every diet known to mankind-inside and out. And where did all of this get me? It landed me in a counselor's office who specialized in eating disorders. To clarify, I did not have a particular eating disorder per say, but I was engaging in disordered eating (which is basically the same thing). I had lost all touch with my body and no idea how to even eat anymore. From the time I woke up in the morning until the time I went to bed, I spent my day agonizing over what I was eating. I meticulously counted calories like a crazy person and even calculated how many calories I was burning off in my militant workout sessions. Was I happy? Fulfilled? Absolutely not. Dieting robbed me of the joy of life, loving myself, and being in the present moment. I was afraid that I wouldn't be lovable unless I looked a certain way or weighed a particular absurd weight I had set for myself. Instead of offering my heart to others, I tried to live up to the expectations I felt society placed on me to earn love, acceptance, and approval. I believed that if I were bone thin, I would be more successful, have more friends, get more dates, and have more to offer the world. That may sound crazy, but if you have ever engaged in dieting, I know that you know what I'm talking about. We have been so grossly brainwashed as a culture as to what is and isn't attractive, that we cannot appreciate the beauty of a real, live person in front of us. There used to be a time when a woman with the figure of Marilyn Monroe was seen as the ideal, the epitome of beauty. Now, our girls today get to look up to anorexic, bulimic, and airbrushed models and actresses. That's not beautiful, nor is it real. Please don't think I am trying to shame thin people. I'm not at all. I am speaking to an unrealistic standard of beauty. Ladies, we are not men. We are biologically designed to have curves and to create and carry life in our own bodies. Think about that for a minute. Life begins inside of us. If you can't respect anything else about your body, let that be it.
We live in a very fear-based and vain culture. Lose weight or it's all doom and gloom. Take a look around, and when you encounter someone who engages in dieting, think to yourself "That is how they cope with their life. I don't do that, I do things differently." You have no idea what another person is going through, and dieting may be the only coping mechanism they know. Instead, focus on a few things that you appreciate about your body. If you can't think of anything, let me share a few of mine with you to help get the ball rolling:
1. I have danced on many, many stages and have brought down a house with a roaring applause.
2. I have helped feed the poor, talked to kids who had a parent in prison, and played with handicapped children-such an indescribable joy. The pleasure truly was mine.
3. I give one heck of a bear hug.
4. My body has survived two massive back surgeries, while still allowing me to continue doing what I love.
5. I have put my toes in the sand of some of the most beautiful beaches on earth.
When we begin to see our bodies for all the amazing things it can do instead of focusing on each and every flaw, we begin to cultivate a love and an appreciation for ourselves that is soul deep. Our worth as human beings does not lie in our bust, waist, or hip measurments. Starting today, you can begin thinking to yourself "This is my body, and this is how I move about and experience the world." This is the first principle of Intuitive Eating: Reject the Diet Mentality. If you are ready for a struggle-free way of eating that is good for both your mind and body, then come along with me on the journey to becoming an Intuitive Eater!